Bodyguard

When I started watching this movie last night, I knew exactly what I was getting into, I had already seen the previous two “blockbuster 100 Crs” earning movies of Salman Khan i.e Dabang and Ready. So the expectation of logic or even a shade of story was undoubtedly not there. But as this movie has also hit a 100 cr mark, watching this was like a compulsory blind that I had to play.

The movie starts off with Salman jumping like a Tarzan from inside of one local train compartment to top of another, only point of concern being, who the bloody hell was holding the tree branch that helped him made the swing, because clearly there were no trees between the two train tracks. Anyhow these kinds of questions should not be asked as they are generally offensive to the action choreographers, as they raise serious concerns over their IQ.

The story continues with Salman becoming Bodyguard of Kareena Kapoor, daughter of Sartaj Singh (Raj Babbar), a man who is highly regarded by Salman. The reason why someone wants to hurt her is of course not explained throughout the movie, (may be they were pissed by her previous irritating performances in different horrible movies)  it’s just like different bad guys keep on coming in the way of Salman’s duty, so that he could kill them. Even police is not bothered for such trivial matters and you are not going to notice even a constable during the whole movie, and we are not talking about some far flung remote place in India but Pune. But why need government sponsored Police when you can hire a private bodyguard.

Anyhow by this time Kareena had started a phone-a-friendship with Salman without disclosing her identity, Salman falls for her without actually seeing her (remember ‘Sirf Tum’) and so do Kareena after watching his choreographed action sequence.

But there is a problem; Kareena can’t disclose her real identity, because Salman will never agree to accept her, because she is the daughter of his God like figure, even Sartaj Singh wont accept him. Now this is the only part of the movie which makes any sense, is likeable and without script glitches. So the whole movie was constructed keeping just climax in mind. Generally a lot of movies faulter in the end reels after a great start. On the contrary, Bodyguard starts with a week premise, unplaced characters, lame jokes, unwanted villains, and a Superstar added with the climax saving the day.

Performance wise I have no complaints with either Salman or Kareena, the supporting cast is wasted like anything, anyhow, the movie is only good due to its climax and to some extent its music. Watch if you have 2-3 hours to spare.

Rating ** 

Pyar ka Punchnama: Must Watch

I feel the name of this movie should have been Pyar ka Postmortem, because love dies a slow and painful death during the end reels of the movie. Virtually I had tears while watching PKP because it had touched that part of my heart which contains a profound terror for relationships. It reassured me of my commitment towards non-commitment.

No other endeavor so far in Indian cinema has been able to defy the very foundation of Bollywood like this one, the movie says it simply, and that can be defined in just two words, ‘Love Sucks’.

Watching a movie full of new comers and a new director is always a risk of money; and more so, of being prone to the feelings of numbness, where the mere existence of that movie raises several questions regarding existence of ‘logic’ on the entire planet. While people producing that movie remains in the hopes of creating another Aamir and Mansoor Khan from their first production, but ends up in creating Khan Rashid Khan’s (KRK) and Himmesh Reshmaiya’s to torture the already frustrated Indians. Thankfully PKP doesn’t falls in above category.

Every person from childhood had heard stories about the inhuman behavior that women had to bear, and about the utter selfishness of men which causes women to reflect towards their miserable existence. Well my friends after watching this movie the Americans will surely call it a conspiracy theory with an underlying agenda to convert all human male species into obedient dogs.

Jokes apart, PKP hits where it hearts, it defies convention and puts the unquestionable integrity of love into scrutiny and asks a valid question about its coexistence with actual happiness. It talks about three happy guys sharing an apartment who always stand for each other, they do all the activities happy kind of people are supposed to do, like karaoke, boozing, abusing etc. And then ‘Shani Dev’ enters in the horoscope of each of them in the form of love. All three guys come in contact with a different girl, every girl with a different life style, different hair style, different priorities but only one thing in common, tension for their friend/boy friend, even the activities of these guys changes dramatically, now they become busy in shopping for their girlfriend, ‘listing about the boyfriend of the girl, from that very girl, whom one of the guys wants to woo (its complicated isn’t it, but a lot of guys can feel associated with this kind of behavior)’, becoming a slave/dog in form of a boy friend, and other such encouraging activities.

Since the protagonists of this movie are males, they soon realize that the only two option left for them to choose in life is between being a single happy male, or a systematic collapse toward a definite nervous breakdown. They choose the later one and live happily ever after without a single woman in their life.

 “So all that bollywood had taught you about love for decades falls flat on the ground, and the truth is finally reveled, which is beautifully shown in the form of song during end credits, the lyrics goes something like ‘Ban gaya kutta, dekho bandh gaya patta’, trying to elaborate the misery of the male species in a relationship.

All the actors have done wonderful work in the movie, I specially like the scene where one of the guys can not bear the trauma caused by his girlfriend and talks breathlessly for about four five minutes. The director is sound technically, but I feel the climax of the movie needed to be more powerful, but the rest of the movie makes up for that mistake. The music is good.

The movie can be treated as a all boys night out, where every body is bitching about his girlfriend, so my recommendation to all the boys in a relationship is to stay away from this movie, or you may see your reflection in any of the three male characters, mind you they were able to escape, you may not, and the feeling of that failure may eat you from inside. As for my friends who are not in a relationship, please watch this movie and you may decide to stay away from relationships as a choice rather than what ever your reasons are. However this movie is only for those girls to watch who have not felt insulted for a while. A cult of a movie.

Rating ***1/2